Friday, December 15, 2006

My life and too much of it

Okay, I know I don't really have a right to bitch... I'm the one packing my own life full of stuff, but that doesn't change the fact that I feel I'm going to be burning the candle at all ends. This next weekend, I'm up to Tahoe to get some runs in on my new board. Then I have my last normal, calm week. Probably too clam. But it will give me a chance to get things ready at the house for a party I'm throwing the first weekend of January... a party that 30 people were invited to and only 11 people have RSVPed and four of them are throwing the party and two others are who the party is being thrown for. That's what this week has in store. That and finding the perfect gift for Emily... oh and my Oma. 'Cause what's next Sunday... oh yes Christmas Eve... then Christmas... Then a busy week of getting my boss packed up out of her old house and into their still being remodeled house. Then it's up to Tahoe for New Years leaving from there to go to Jackson Hole, getting back just in time to throw the for mentioned party.
Okay now we're in to January... I work then head to Thunder Hill (car event) for the weekend. Come home and work, and breath before I pack up and head out to Palm Springs for a horse show the last weekend of January.
Now we're into Feb... a hell month for me... one that not only has the expectations of V-day with it's heart and chocolate but also my birthday. I spend the first weekend back down in Palm Springs to ride come home... work... fly to the Bahamas for a week (I know boo hoo for me). Come home on V-day (poor Apple Jacks... and my silly girl expectations) and five days later go to a track event at the ever famous Laguna Seca. The ending day of the event is my Birthday (I love my Birthday, and day where I get to feel like the world revolves around me, where I get gifts, where I'm truly special... that day kicks ass). And now the Spinster has invited me to go to New York City, leaving 48 hours after I'd have gotten home from the track event.
Here it is. I've never been to the big apple. I'd love to go, especially with a bunch of crazy girls to paint the town red and pretend to be Ms. Hilton and Ms. Richie and be debotiourious (yes, spelled wrong). "You can sleep when you're dead!" She said to me, "you're only young once." All of this is true, but here is the thing, I'm a bitch when I don't get much sleep, and I don't feel so young.
So I'm tangled up about what to do... I want to go, but at the same time I want to spend some time at home. I want to do NYC right, not rushed and hung over. I want to have tons of $$$$ to spend endlessly on all the same things I could buy right here in Union Square but with a beauty of the NYC on it. Maya might be able to join us down from Rochester, Emily might be able to join, though I think she'll be dieing from studying.
I know I work all of 10 hours at week at one job, 11 hours at another, substitute one day a week and babysit one day a week. On a busy week I work 50 hrs. On a slow week I work 20 hrs. I constantly feel like I have to justify my busyness. I'm just worried that I'm too busy... that I'll burn out... that it's irresponsible for me to take even more time off to do "personal" stuff. I just... I want to sit on the couch and watch TV.

1 comment:

Tasha said...

Dude, if you don't want to come, don't come. I mean, you'll only be missing out on a super fantastic awesome weekend with one of your lives-across-the-country/can't-afford
-to-fly-to-CA friends. But that's not a big deal: you can have one of those anytime. Am I being a bitch? Sorry. But I think it would be fun. But I won't be pissed if you don't come.